Tea!

Tea is not just a drink,
it is a fundamental human right.

It makes me think
that there might actually be a God.

See, if I was told
it was grown in Elysian Fields,
and brewed by Jesus, I’d believe it.

Look at it! Take a sip!

It goes down, brown and smooth, Continue reading

Fart!

We were at the cinema today watching “Ferdinand.” It was good. By “good” I mean that it was adequate enough to keep my ten-year-old autistic daughter, Sophie – who is normally agitated at an atomic level – relatively still.

There was one very tender part in the movie, where the entire cinema of fifty-or-so families quietened down and then…

FART!

“Fart does not do it justice,”
She did an arse-raspberry
An extended R-rated trailer
for a poo that was soon to be.
I thought,
“Maybe they won’t know it was her?”
then I saw
that she had lifted up both feet.  Continue reading

Make Love To Ireland

I want to make love to you Ireland,
one last time before I go.
Place a kiss in every county,
run my fingers through your hedgerows.
Lick you all around your outline,
you’ve got such a sexy coast:
Malin Head To Mizen Head,
Mmmmmmm,
tastes like Cheese & Onion Tayto.

I want to ride you like a lovely horse,
I want to take that horse to France, Continue reading

Sing it for her

If he said, ‘I don’t like The Cranberries,’
you wouldn’t shift him.
Not even a little bit.
(Or maybe you did shift him, but I bet it was shit.)

Born in the 70s, dragged up in the 80s,
but the 90s! The 90s were the fucking business.
And as far as you were concerned,
The Cranberries were it!
With that world-straddling Limerick Lilt.
Your first song, your first love, your first gig.

The songs would still bring you back,
The dodgy haircuts, the even dodgier slacks.
Bringing the wrong boys back to your flat.

‘Oh my life is changing everyday
In every possible way.’
That’s how you felt!
All those years ago
Discovering yourself,
Getting your heart broken
When the only thing that helped
Was screaming along to Zombie
Until you had no voice left

Today, Dolores died,
Far, far too young
So much of her life,
Left unsung.
So, tonight,
Put those old CDs on,

And sing it for her.